There were times I didn’t understand.
There were prayers I thought were ignored.
But now I know. It was never silence.
It was sovereignty.
God Is Still in Control
God is not just watching from above.
He’s ruling. Reigning. Directing.
Even when we don’t get it.
Even when we don’t like it.
Sovereignty means He is still in control, even when our world feels out of control.
That truth is hard to swallow, especially when the shaking happens — literally and spiritually.
When It Doesn’t Make Sense
On my way home, I saw the news about another violent earthquake in the Philippines.
My anxiety crept back in. I couldn’t breathe.
The crowded Beijing subway made it worse.
I was still far from my stop, but I knew what to do:
Inhale. Hold. Again. And again.
Until I could breathe.
In that moment, I felt the panic of our kababayans (fellow Filipinos). 💔
When the ground shakes, where do you go?
Inside or outside, both feel unsafe.
I started spiraling again. I thought of my family back home.
The fear. The helplessness. The feeling of not being in control.
So I walked. I breathed. I worshipped.
Step by step, peace found me again. 🌿
And then I remembered…
Weeks ago, I had a dream.
A strong earthquake shaking both the Philippines and Beijing.
I told my husband, “Prepare a go bag. Let’s practice drills with the kids.”
After that dream — the Cebu quake happened. And now, a series across Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao.
Coincidence? Maybe.
But I believe it’s more than that.
We’re being shaken — physically and spiritually.
And the question is — are we awake?
The Honest Questions We Ask
In moments like these, I’ve asked:
“Lord, bakit hindi mo pinigilan?”
→ “Lord, why didn’t You stop it?”
“Lord, bakit nangyari ito?”
→ “Lord, why did this happen?”
“Lord, bakit kami?”
→ “Lord, why us?”
It doesn’t make sense!
Sometimes He allows what we would never choose.
But these painful, unfortunate moments —
they don’t mean He isn’t good.
They just mean He sees what we can’t.
He sees the full picture.
The beginning, the detours, the ending — all of it.
And sometimes the very thing we pray away is the thing He allows to shape us.
When I Look Back, I See It Now
I remember a time I didn’t get what I prayed for.
Years ago, I applied for a job at a major TV network.
Segment producer — dream job.
But my company didn’t let me go. I held a crucial role.
I felt stuck. I felt robbed of opportunity.
But now? Looking back, I was spared.
I see it clearly — it was God’s protection.
If I had taken that job, I would’ve drowned in stress.
My mental health would’ve suffered.
Instead, God redirected me to something better —
A teaching job where I poured everything I learned into the next generation of creatives and communicators.
It wasn’t the path I planned.
But it was the purpose I needed.
And Then There Was the Diagnosis
I questioned God again.
“Why me? Why us?”
When we found out my son had Beta Thalassemia, I was devastated.
Then later, we discovered my daughter had it too.
We all carried the gene — but only I had no symptoms.
During the pandemic, fear consumed me.
Would my son survive COVID if he got infected?
We didn’t know. We had no control.
So we turned to the One who did.
Every night at 9PM, our family would pray over video calls.
We surrendered everything to Jesus.
And in that surrender, peace came.
Not the kind the world gives.
But peace that guards your heart and mind.
Peace that doesn’t make sense — because it comes from God.
The Truth That Anchors Me
Even now, I still catch myself overthinking.
Doubting. Wondering if God will still give the desires of my heart.
Worrying about the future, despite all He’s already done.
But His Word reminds me:
📖 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
That’s not just a promise. That’s sovereignty.
So What Do We Do Now?
The shaking hasn’t stopped. And my heart goes out to everyone who’s been deeply affected.
So what do we do now?
✅ We pray.
✅ We repent.
✅ We prepare.
Because while the world is shaking, God is still in control.
Let this verse be our battle cry:
📖 “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
— 2 Chronicles 7:14
God’s “No” Is Sometimes Protection
Sometimes what feels like a rejection is actually redirection.
Or protection.
Or preparation.
You don’t have to understand everything to trust Him.
You just have to surrender.
And when you do? You’ll find peace — not because you’re in control,
but because you know the One who is.
God is sovereign.
That’s not just theology.
That’s your anchor.
So breathe. Rest.
Let God be God.
Keep going — He’s got this.
Leave a Reply