Not Mine to Carry: Choosing Peace Over Other People’s Negativity
It came in a message from Sherry, a mentor from another country.
“Other people’s negative energy belongs to them. Not to you. Be happy with yourself.”
I didn’t realize how badly I needed those words until I read them.
The Weight I Carried
I realized I often feel uneasy when people are upset with me.
Even small misunderstandings disturb my peace.
I start replaying conversations in my head.
I overanalyze their tone, their silence, their reactions.
I wonder endlessly if I should have said or done something differently.
This isn’t new. I grew up learning to “matutong makiramdam”—to always be alert to my mother’s signals, to read the room, to anticipate moods. It kept me safe back then. But as an adult, it became a burden.
And here’s something I’ve heard so many times but never fully grasped until now:
If you are easily offended, you are easily controlled.
That was me. Offense had power over me. And I didn’t even know it.
The Cost of Carrying
When you absorb everyone’s feelings, you lose yourself.
It eats away at your peace.
It shakes your joy.
It clouds your relationships.
For me, it meant sacrificing my mental health just to keep the “peace” — when in reality, I was only keeping myself hostage.
The Shift
Then Sherry’s words came.
And suddenly, it clicked.
I finally connected the dots. This is why she’s so grounded, so selfless, so at peace — in her family, her marriage, her friendships. She doesn’t let other people’s negative energy own her. She lets them carry their own bags.
She chooses not to be offended. She chooses to ignore what doesn’t serve her. She chooses to just be herself, unbothered by what others might say.
And because of that, she walks in unshakable peace — a peace that overflows into a big, selfless heart.
And this is what she told me directly, words that became a wake-up call:
“Keep being the best version of yourself. Don’t be influenced by others. Just do what you think is right.”
As for me, it was a wake-up call. Finally, I understood.
It doesn’t matter what other people’s voices say about me.
What matters is who I am in the eyes of God.
I will always be far from perfect, but in Him there is grace and refinement — the grace to stand up and the strength to keep going.
Just yesterday, I practiced it.
I chose not to be disturbed.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt light.
Faith in the Middle of It
This is where faith enters the story.
Because peace isn’t just a mindset shift.
It’s an identity shift.
I am a child of God.
That means I can forgive — even when they don’t deserve it.
That means I can love my neighbor — even when it hurts.
That means I can set boundaries — because love doesn’t mean self-erasure.
And when my mind wants to spiral into overthinking, I hold on to Philippians 4:8:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
That’s where I fix my focus.
The Freedom of Letting Go
I can’t control how others feel.
I can’t live life making sure no one gets offended.
But I can choose not to carry what’s not mine.
I can choose peace.
I can choose joy.
I can choose freedom.
Because in the end, God already said who I am:
Loved. Whole. Free.
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