Subway Thoughts on Grace, Grit, and Slowing Down
The subway was packed. I was already tired.
Someone rushed past me—like really rushed—to get to the escalator. I thought, Wow, must be in a hurry. But then? They just stood there. Not walking up. Just… waiting for it to move.
I almost laughed.
You sprint to the escalator only to stand still?
What’s the point?
But then I caught myself. Because isn’t that what life feels like sometimes?
Everything Feels Like a Race
From school to work to parenting—we’re trained to hustle.
Be first. Be better. Don’t slow down. Don’t fall behind.
That mindset? It’s wired deep, especially if you were raised in an Asian household like mine. My parents were loving, yes—but also raised in a generation that equated success with sacrifice, and worth with performance.
You don’t stop.
You don’t complain.
You just do your best.
And by “best,” they usually meant better than the rest.
The Rancho Moment
Years ago, back in high school, I had a quiet realization:
Stop comparing yourself to others.
I told myself—As long as I’m becoming better than I was yesterday, that’s enough. As long as I give my best, I’m good.
And for a while, that belief kept me grounded.
But I was still stuck in the chase.
Not for awards or applause—they came naturally after the hard work.
I chased the next.
The next goal.
The next milestone.
The next reason to feel worthy.
Because I was raised to be an achiever.
To believe that worth is tied to what you do—and how well you do it.
If you’ve seen 3 Idiots, you’ll remember Rancho’s professor.
He preached that life is a race. That if you don’t run fast, someone else will win.
That was me.
Always in performance mode.
Always chasing.
Always proving.
Until I realized… it never ends.
Choosing a Different Way
Now that I’m a mom, I catch myself wanting to push my kids the way I was pushed. To rush them. To expect more. To prove something.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
Excellence doesn’t require exhaustion.
Growth doesn’t need pressure to count.
There’s a balance—and I’m still learning it:
Grace and grit.
Accountability without anxiety.
Responsibility without fear.
Effort without shame.
Why They Did It
I no longer blame the ones who raised me that way.
They were doing what they knew.
They thought the race was the only way out. The only way up.
And maybe, for them, it was.
But now? We know better. We can do better.
I want my kids to strive—but not at the cost of joy.
To grow—but not chase worth.
So, Is Life a Race?
Only if you choose to run it that way.
As for me?
I’ll walk.
I’ll rest.
I’ll take the stairs when I can—and stand still when I need to.
Because I’m not here to beat anyone.
I’m here to keep going—with grace, grit, and intention. 💛
What You Can Do When Everything Feels Like a Race
📌 Pause before you sprint. Ask yourself: Is this urgent—or just familiar pressure? Not everything needs to be done fast. Some things just need to be done well.
📌 Redefine what “progress” means. It’s not always about the medals or milestones. It’s about effort, consistency, and growth you can feel—not just show.
📌 Break the cycle gently. If you grew up in a performance-based home, remember: healing doesn’t mean blame. It means choosing a better way—starting now.
📌 Say it out loud. Tell your kids, “I’m proud of who you are, not just what you achieve.” It’s a small sentence that rewires big things. And don’t forget my favorite reminder: KEEP GOING!
📌 Let rest be part of your rhythm. Rest isn’t quitting. It’s honoring your pace.
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