What Serving at 16 Taught Me About Faith at 42
I remember the year 2000 clearly.
I was 16 years old.
And I was deeply depressed.
Quietly giving up on life.
Lost in ways I didn’t yet have language for.
Then my mama did something I didn’t understand at the time.
She pushed me.
She insisted I join the charismatic church music ministry.
I didn’t know what she saw in me.
I didn’t know what she saw in that ministry.
I only knew she was determined.
She spoke to the worship leader herself.
I still remember that moment.
He looked straight into my eyes while my mama stood beside me and said something that would mark my life forever:
“Hindi basta‑basta ang maglingkod sa Diyos.”
(Serving God is not something you enter lightly.)
Then he continued. Calm. Direct. No sugarcoating.
“Hindi porket sasali ka sa music ministry, magiging madali ang buhay.
Hindi ibig sabihin palaging blessed ka, walang problema, walang hirap.”
(Just because you serve in ministry doesn’t mean life will be easier. It doesn’t mean you’ll be spared from hardship.)
And then he dropped a truth that felt like a bomb to a 16-year-old who was barely holding on:
“Mas lalo kang susubukin.
May mga pagsubok na dumarating para makita kung totoo ang motibo mo.”
(You will be tested even more. Trials come to reveal whether your motives are genuine.)
Then he said this:
“Parang ginto. Pinapadaan sa apoy para luminis.”
(Like gold. Passed through fire to be purified.)
I remember thinking, So… should I still join?
And looking back now, decades later, I am grateful he told me the truth.
Because faith built on fantasy collapses at the first fire.
But faith built on truth survives.
Before I joined, he said one more thing that mattered most:
“Ang kaibahan, kahit dumaan ka sa apoy… hindi ka nag‑iisa.”
(The difference is this: even when you go through the fire, you are not alone.)
And he was right.
Learning to Surrender Before I Learned to Speak
When I started serving, I cried a lot.
I remember worship services where I would lift my hands and cry without words.
Full surrender.
Because there was nothing else I could do.
And in those moments, I learned something early:
Peace doesn’t mean the absence of problems.
Peace means God is present in the middle of them.
I learned that His help is never late.
Never delayed.
Always on time.
Someone once asked me back then:
“Bakit ba tayo dumadaan sa matitinding pagsubok?”
(Why do we go through such intense hardships?)
And the Holy Spirit led me to answer:
“Para mahayag ang kadakilaan ng Diyos.”
(So that the greatness of God may be revealed.)
That answer still holds today.
Fast Forward 26 Years
Today, most of our family are believers.
Catholic. Christian. Seeking God.
And today, we are walking through one of the hardest seasons of our lives.
Our uncle has been in the ICU for almost a month.
The hospital bill has reached ₱1.8 million.
Doctors have said they’ve done all they can.
And yet.
On the fourth day, when everything crashed and his vitals were unstable, he suddenly stabilized enough for brain surgery.
After eight hours, he opened his eyes.
Then came sepsis on January 28.
We thought, Lord, this is it.
My aunt and I booked flights immediately.
Heavy hearts.
Crying.
Begging God: Please. Just give us a chance.
And here we are.
Almost a month later.
Still in ICU.
Still fighting.
When my cousin and aunt gently asked him:
“Lalaban pa ba tayo?
Kung pagod ka na, hindi ka namin pipigilan.”
(Will we keep fighting? If you’re tired, we won’t force you.)
He opened his eyes.
Moved his finger.
As if to say: I want to live.
We do not know how long this fight will be.
We do not know how the story will end.
But we know this.
We are in the fire.
And God is still here.
Serving Looks Different Now, But the Fire Is the Same
I no longer serve through a microphone in church.
I serve now through words.
Through blogs.
Through content under SHE Keeps Going.
And I noticed something.
Every time I try to show up for God, the enemy tries to distract me.
Break me.
Overwhelm me.
Financial strain.
Marriage tension.
Mental exhaustion.
Work pressure.
Then, just days ago, a former scholar I once supervised was hospitalized too.
I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me:
Help.
Even though we ourselves are struggling financially.
I remembered the bosses, mentors, and friends who helped me before without being asked.
Who showed up when I had nothing left.
So I said:
Lord, let me pay it forward. Even with the little I have.
And I did.
Later, he sent me this message:
“Ate, sobrang thank you.
Pinapanood ko yung reels mo tungkol kay God.
Kapag down ako, bigla silang lumalabas sa feed ko.
Para bang paraan ni God para kausapin ako.”(Ate, thank you so much.
I watch your reels about God.
Whenever I’m feeling down, they suddenly show up on my feed.
It feels like God’s way of speaking to me.)
And I cried. I understood again:
The fire is not punishment.
The fire is proof that you are being trusted.
The Bible Never Promised an Easy Road
Job didn’t suffer because he was disobedient.
He suffered because he was faithful.
“But He knows the way that I take;
when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”
— Job 23:10
And Peter reminds us:
“These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”
— 1 Peter 1:7
The fire doesn’t mean you failed.
The fire means your faith is being revealed.
Gold doesn’t panic when it’s heated.
It doesn’t run from the fire.
It stays.
And it comes out purer.
What I Know Now
I understand now what our worship leader was really saying then.
Hindi madali.
(It is not easy.)
Hindi smooth.
(It is not smooth.)
Hindi shortcut ang paglilingkod sa Diyos.
(Serving God is not a shortcut.)
But it is anchored.
You will be tested.
You will be stretched.
You will be shaken.
And still
you will not be alone.
Because when everything else falls apart
God remains.
Not loud.
Not rushed.
But present.
If You’re in the Fire Right Now, Here Are Gentle Anchors
Not formulas.
Not platitudes.
Just reminders for the middle of the storm.
1. Stay grounded in faith, not explanations.
You won’t always get answers.
But you can choose trust.
Say the prayer you can say. Even if it’s just: Lord, help.
2. Stay rooted in love, not resentment.
Pain tempts us to harden.
Love asks us to stay soft without breaking.
Guard your heart. Not by closing it. By giving it to God daily.
3. Stay connected to the community.
Do not isolate.
Let people pray with you.
Let them help you.
Let them carry you when you’re tired.
Even Moses needed Aaron and Hur to hold his arms up.
4. Obey in the small things.
Sometimes obedience looks like generosity when it hurts.
Sometimes it looks like showing up when you want to disappear.
God multiplies small acts done in faith.
5. Take it one day at a time.
Not the whole battle.
Not the whole bill.
Not the whole future.
Just today.
Grace is given daily.
To Everyone Walking With Us Right Now
To those praying.
To those giving.
To those checking in.
To those helping even when they themselves have little.
Thank you.
Our family feels it.
We carry this season together.
One day at a time.
Full Circle
Twenty-six years ago, I was a broken teenager being told the truth about faith.
Today, I am still being tested.
Still being refined.
Still learning surrender.
But I know this now:
The fire does not mean God has left.
The fire means He is near.
And when this season passes,
because it will,
we will come out changed.
Not bitter.
Not empty.
But refined.
❤️ Hey You,
If you’re reading this while crying
while waiting in a hospital room
while staring at numbers you can’t solve
while wondering why serving God feels so hard
Hear this:
You are not cursed.
You are not forgotten.
You are not alone.
You are being held
even in the fire.
🟡 Keep going.
With grit.
With grace.
With God.
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